We’re not going to pretend: we love Megan Washington around these parts, and we’re pretty damn in love with her first new release since 2011′s heartbreaking Insomnia mini-album: the single ‘Who Are You’.
It heralds the arrival of album #2 later this year, which we’re very much looking forward to, and so we asked her if she’d like to write us something – an open letter, say? And this is what we received:
Sometimes Nothing’s The Worst Thing You Can Say (An Open Letter To Silence)
Some people tell me that you’re golden, but frankly, I’ve got some concerns.
I know we aren’t close – It’s not like I spend long hours with you, staring at my phone, willing it to ring… And I’m not naturally attracted to you, I don’t enjoy taciturn deliberation over things – I’m definitely an ‘out-loud’ thinker. I mean, we don’t even sleep together. (I’ve fallen sleep listening to Stars Of The Lid on my iPod since 2006.)
Perhaps you’re welcome when you turn up in other people’s lives, but you’re not welcome when you turn up in mine. You are Unwelcome, Silence. Unwelcome.
I mean I understand your power, Silence. Sometimes the loudest way to win an argument is to be silent.
Written by Andrew P Street
Art by Robert Polmear
Dear the Internet,
The Huffington Post have released an article about the special precious uniqueness of creatives and the way that they create all their creative creativity creatively.
If the term “creatives” makes you die a little inside, congratulations: your brain is functioning correctly. “Creatives” is a broad, bile-inducing term that applies to all sorts of people working in disparate industries, united by the fact that my grandparents would castigate them as never having done an honest day’s work in their lives. Ad execs. Publicists. People who write snarky articles for a living. That sort of thing.
Yes, I’m precisely the sort of person they’re writing about, but I correctly see my characteristics less as admirable attributes and more as personal and professional liabilities.
With that in mind, I have spent a lot of time with maddeningly creative people and thus have gathered a vast amount of research for what I’m hoping someone will pay me to publish as my first ever self-hurt book, The Seven Habits of Wildly Disorganised People
Here’s a teaser to get you in the mood.
1.… Read more
By Andrew P Street
There’s a clue in the name: Haymarket started life as a market for hay and grain beside George Street in the late 1700s before Governor Bourke decided to relocate it to a site off Campbell Street in 1834. However, over the decades a “fringe” market of food, produce and other goods had grown up alongside the hay and grain one, and it stayed put. By the 1870s the main market was being nicknamed “Paddy’s”, and the name has remained (although the origins of the name remain frustratingly obscure). In 1891 the open air market was replaced with a proper building, and it’s been there ever since (the original brickwork remains as the façade of Paddys and Market City). Interestingly enough, Chinatown hasn’t actually been there that long: it only took over Dixon Street in the 1920s after previous homes in Darling Harbour and the Rocks were redeveloped.
These days the area is dominated by Chinatown in and around Dixon Street, Paddy’s Market and Market City (fun fact: Market City Tavern’s balcony is one of the few places in the CBD where smokers can drink under cover – remember this when you need a winter drinking hole and your party includes cigaretthusiasts).… Read more
The booze may stop flowing at 3am but nobody said anything about juice.
The Spice Cellar, everybody’s favourite CBD dancetorium, redefines pop with their dedicated juice and lolly ice bar. No need to thirst after beers or vodka, lime ‘n’ sodas when there’s a thirst quenching organic grasshopper on hand. Grab a 4am pick-me-up of mint, apple, spinach and pineapple and stay dancing till the break breaka dawn. 5am never looked so refreshing.… Read more
The ABC is reporting that Parramatta has just been named Sydney’s most liveable suburb… scratch that: the most liveable suburb in the entire state. We say congrats to the great western suburb, whose proximity to major roads and its huge retail centre put it on top. Pyrmont, Burwood and Hurstville were also up there.
We won’t argue with the report (what the bleep is “liveable” anyway really), and certainly between its big nighttime economy, great park and excellent Riverside Theatres, Parramatta has a lot to get ra-ra about. But what do you think is Sydney’s top suburb?… Read more
We’ve been crossing our fingers for good news on this front – and sticking it to Melbourne just adds to the thrill: Tim Minchin’s Tony Award-winning smash-hit Matilda the Musical is coming Down Under, premiering in Sydney. The Royal Shakespeare Company’s Roald Dahl adaptation, with music and lyrics by Minchin, premiered in 2010, transferring to London’s West End the next year – where it is still running. It’s also currently enjoying an extended run on Broadway. Here’s a little peek of what to expect (get excited).
Dear the Internet,
The Guardian recently published an interactive map showing how one’s life expectancy changes depending on where in the world one lives. It’s a fascinating tool unambiguously showing that people in big cities tend to live significantly longer than those in rural and remote deathtraps.
However, looking at our wide brown land that’s girt so controversially by sea, it’s notable that those who live in Sydney apparently die six weeks earlier than the national average.
It’s hardly a surprise, of course: life in our biggest and most exciting/stressful city is a rollercoaster of pluses and minuses. To illustrate this, I’ve elucidated the elements that extend and diminish life for Sydney residents, alongside those of our nation’s secondary Sydney: Melbourne.
So which city is better? One thing is clear: they both shit all over Blinman.
Seriously. You ever been to the Flinders Ranges? The town’s a goddamn hellhole.
Free, Gay and Happy of course. Why? Well, the guys and gals at FGAH are going to be kissing for the entire length of the parade (1.7km or around 30 minutes) – those saliva-swapping fiends. The theme of the float is ‘French Kisses’, a theme chosen to celebrate the fact that France recently became the world’s 13th country to legalise gay marriage. Also: France is a little bit gay generally, in the most awesome of ways.
The float itself will be shaped like a wedding cake and covered in committed couples getting their pash on in a way that says “hey Australian government, why don’t you get on the right side of history and let people who are in love be in love and declare it in a public and legal forum that grants them the same rights as every other guy and girl out there?” Yes, they will be message-sending smooches, these.
If you can peel your eyes away from all the love, the float will be surrounded by marchers and dancers dressed in their Gallic best.
Check out everything you need to know about the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade and the Mardi Gras Party. And read our interview with Heather Numberone – who’ll be on the float as her non-drag alter-ego Ben Grill.… Read more
Dear the Internet,
Australians love democracy on Facebook. And it’s fair enough too, since we don’t really get any of it in our political lives. That’s the only possible explanation for the ubiquity of quizzes asking which Game of Thrones character, which Star Wars villain and/or which intestinal parasite we are (I got E. histolytica! That’s the coolest one!).
And thus, in a shameless attempt to chase that web-savvy demographic of people with too much time on their hands, I’ve constructed this questionnaire to determine which hackneyed, over-played, downright irritating food trend most represents you, the discerning quizthusiast.
Pick yer answers, calculate yer scores, and learn your special personal truth. It’s not just fun – it’s SCIENCE!
In an ideal world, life should be…
a. indistinguishable from anyone else’s (4)
b. briefly pleasant, but then full of shame (10)
c. pointlessly complicated and dangerous (8)
d. socially responsible, yet disgusting (6)
When you think of the improvisational powers of MacGyver, you think…
a. “That would never actually work.” (2)
b. “Yeah! Whoo! Anything can be used for anything!” (3)
c. “What is going on with his hair?” (1)
d. “What’s a MacGuyver?” (0)
Your favourite design aesthetic could be best described as…
a.… Read more